Blind Obedience Excluded

Colossians 3:20 is a reference to parents who live by God’s instructions. Obey such parents in everything because their instructions are righteous and will benefit you. Being mindful of love and truth, they will not deliver you to the devil. However, Colossians 3:20 is not an encouragement to obey in everything parents who do not live by God’s instructions. They are misguided and lost, with tendencies to be lawless and irresponsible, selfish and wicked.

²² It is not sensible to follow the advice of sinners. SIRACH 19

¹⁴ If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit. MATTHEW 15

How to spot the ungodly parent?

³³ A tree is recognized by its fruits. ³⁵ The good man brings good things out of the good stored in him, and the evil man brings out the evil things out of the evil stored in him. MATTHEW 12

¹⁷ Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. MATTHEW 7

Look at his words and actions: Do they match? Is he given to a vice or addiction? Is he irritable, impatient or proud in dealing with you? Does he harass you? Does he observe religious practices not of God? Is he remiss in his daily devotion to God? Do you see instances of him sowing envy, jealousy, anger, discord, hatred or violence? If the answer is Yes to any of these questions, treat him as sin lurking at your doorstep. Keep a safe distance from him.

The ungodly parent is the kind who molests and abuses his children, who turns them into his personal slaves, who teaches them to covet and steal, to be liars and murderers. The kind who stops his children from going to church, reading the Scripture, and obeying God’s instructions. The kind who prioritizes the satisfaction of his personal desires over his children’s needs.

In Business and Government he is the kind who rises to his position by bribery, manipulation, deceit, bootlicking, nepotism or force. In schools and universities he is the kind who takes advantage of his students. In church he is the kind who manipulates and preys on the faithful, abuses them and saps their blessings.

Never be too trusting of the ungodly parent. If he does not honor God, the more he will not honor you. Do not be a willing victim of his wickedness and lawlessness, or become a tool or accomplice to it. Before obeying his instruction, check whether it is motivated by love and whether obeying it would please God. If not, disobey it. If he asks why, read to him Acts 4:19 and 5:29 with love. 

¹⁹ Peter and John said [to the errant authorities in Jerusalem], “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God.” ACTS 4 

²⁹ We must obey God rather than men! ACTS 5

If he pressures you to obey his instruction (as any selfish or irresponsible person would), ask God to deal with him. If he threatens you with bodily harm or death, run outside for help. Seek the help of your local church or an authority he would be obliged to honor, a police officer for example. Report the matter and seek intervention. If things do not smoothen out, make a public case out of it.

¹¹ They must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach. TITUS 1

Nonetheless, a parent being errant is no excuse for you to stop loving him or to treat him with indifference. Conversely, your being errant is no excuse for your parents to stop loving you or to treat you with indifference. Each of us should be generous and tireless in forgiving one another for whatever offense, injustice or neglect is caused to us.